sparrows.

   this summer has been so different and difficult from all summers in the past.
everything is changing and it's all happening so fast like a whirlwind around me.
i find myself getting entangled in thoughts, worries, and anxiety about the future.
   i'm getting married in less than a year, and i'm graduating from college in less than a year. 
i'm going into the real world, getting a real job, and paying real bills in less than a year.
if you had asked me 5 years ago if i thought those things would come about so quickly i would've said 
"no way, i have so much time to grow up" but here i am, little ole me, so unprepared for life.
   this is my last summer at home. my last summer as a Kernodle. my last summer to move back to my dorm. this is the last summer to go without a job. this is my last summer as a girlfriend. wow.
   i know that God has equipped me with exactly what i need for my last year of college and i know that He has prepared me for my marriage, and future career-- but you know, i'm curious, how does He do it ?
   imagine all the people all over the world freaking out because they have college graduation in a year and a marriage right around the same time and yet there are people starving, dying, and in need of a savior also crying out to Him. 
   not to lessen the importance of those who are truly in need, but God is a God of details. He cares about our bad days, missing car keys, and bad organic chemistry test grades. He cares about each of us no matter how big or small our problems may seem to the rest of the world. 


when i think about this and about my minimal problems in light of our world i'm reminded of a few of God's promises:

 Commit your way to the LORD;
   trust in him and he will do this:
 He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, 
   your vindication like the noonday sun.
 Be still before the LORD 
   and wait patiently for him...
 Psalm 37:5-7a

Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. 
 1 Peter 5:7

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? 
  Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. 
And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 
  So don’t be afraid; 
You are worth more than many sparrows.
  Matthew 10:29-31

He is faithful and He is good. 
I know I will continue to have my momentary freak-outs, but I can cling to His promises and provision for today, tomorrow, and forever.

"I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up, I'm not stong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough"