expectancy.

How would our world be shaped if we woke each morning expecting to see Jesus?
I’m not talking about seeing Him through nature or circumstance. I’m talking about actually seeing Jesus. In Matthew 24, Jesus is talking to his disciples about the signs of the end and His return.  We read the words of Jesus as He heaps warning after warning on the disciples.  In verse 34 He says, “I tell you the truth, this race will certainly not pass away until all these things have happened. Heaven and earth will pass away but My words will never pass away.” This statement makes me wonder, “Why was Jesus warning those people so long ago, and yet we have still not seen the return of the Son of God?”  Well if we keep reading down we get to verse 36 which says, “No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.”  Jesus doesn’t even know when His return will be, but one thing He does know is that we need to be prepared. He spent His life and ministry on this earth preparing not only His disciples but us for His return. He wants each day for us to wake up and have the heart, mind, and spirit of expectancy. Seriously think about how your minute-by-minute, hour-to-hour life would be dramatically changed if you were expecting for Jesus’ return.  I know for me personally it would mean not sweating the small stuff, it would mean not getting angry or annoyed about little things or, it would mean picking my battles (or not fighting any), but ultimately it would mean being willing to loose this life of mine for the sake of His name and His renown. This type of thinking and acting would mean totally surrendering my life each day to Him before everything else, before I speak my first word each morning, and before I blink my eyes – that kind of surrender. 
So why don't we go on this journey together? Why don’t we start living out expectant lives? Jesus is coming back, just watch and see. Let’s ask God for the renewing and transformation of our minds and hearts.

Romans 12:1-2
            Therefore, I urge you, brothers [and sisters], in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind...

loved.

God’s love for us is unconditional, unmerited, unqualified, unreserved, absolute, immutable. We cannot earn it, no matter how hard we try. We cannot lose it, no matter how hard we try. God does not change his mind. He is eternally and hopelessly in love with the creatures he made in his image.

kittens.

I've always wanted a calico cat.

now I have TWO plus an orange and white little boy kitty.

I think we'll name them Cali & CoCo.

The orange boy is Jeffrey.

sparrows.

   this summer has been so different and difficult from all summers in the past.
everything is changing and it's all happening so fast like a whirlwind around me.
i find myself getting entangled in thoughts, worries, and anxiety about the future.
   i'm getting married in less than a year, and i'm graduating from college in less than a year. 
i'm going into the real world, getting a real job, and paying real bills in less than a year.
if you had asked me 5 years ago if i thought those things would come about so quickly i would've said 
"no way, i have so much time to grow up" but here i am, little ole me, so unprepared for life.
   this is my last summer at home. my last summer as a Kernodle. my last summer to move back to my dorm. this is the last summer to go without a job. this is my last summer as a girlfriend. wow.
   i know that God has equipped me with exactly what i need for my last year of college and i know that He has prepared me for my marriage, and future career-- but you know, i'm curious, how does He do it ?
   imagine all the people all over the world freaking out because they have college graduation in a year and a marriage right around the same time and yet there are people starving, dying, and in need of a savior also crying out to Him. 
   not to lessen the importance of those who are truly in need, but God is a God of details. He cares about our bad days, missing car keys, and bad organic chemistry test grades. He cares about each of us no matter how big or small our problems may seem to the rest of the world. 


when i think about this and about my minimal problems in light of our world i'm reminded of a few of God's promises:

 Commit your way to the LORD;
   trust in him and he will do this:
 He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, 
   your vindication like the noonday sun.
 Be still before the LORD 
   and wait patiently for him...
 Psalm 37:5-7a

Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. 
 1 Peter 5:7

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? 
  Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. 
And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 
  So don’t be afraid; 
You are worth more than many sparrows.
  Matthew 10:29-31

He is faithful and He is good. 
I know I will continue to have my momentary freak-outs, but I can cling to His promises and provision for today, tomorrow, and forever.

"I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up, I'm not stong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough"

roots.

From the outside looking in you might think that I’ve lived a fairly normal life, and in a sense-- you'd be right. I grew up in Memphis, TN. I had private school education for my entire life. I have a mom, dad, younger sister, and typically 2+ dogs and 2 or 3 cats.  

Life has always been good. 

I can’t look back at any part of my life and say “man, I had it really rough when I was…” In all honesty I was and still am beyond blessed. My family has never been wealthy; at least once weekly we would have a “leftovers dinner.”

cornbread and beans were and still are staples in our home.  

Sometimes we would have to go a month without eating out or going to the movies, but we never went without the essentials. My parents have always worked hard whether it meant going back to school to get a better degree for a higher paying job or if it meant getting two more jobs to tack onto the already 40 hour work week. Mom and Dad busted their butts to take care of the family including helping aunts, uncles, and cousins with groceries or a place to stay during any of their times of need. 

My parents are silly and crazy, and they don’t have everything together, but one thing they do have is love and I know for a fact that that’s the thread that has held us together. God has placed in both my parents hearts LOVE. Whether that love flows from their lack of it when they were growing up or whether it’s something they simply developed after having children I’m not sure, but I do know that without a doubt they have it- deep down, in the depths of their hearts, never to be stolen, but always to be freely given away.
I spent a lot of my high school years taking advantage and often disregarding all the things my parents did for me. I spent a lot of time resenting their rules and their regulations, but it’s so funny as I look back on how their rules turned out to actually be what I needed to prevent me from stepping into harm’s way.  Of course I had my rebellious streak and didn’t listen and got into the wrong crowds, but I can see now how God protected me through the guidance and discipline of my parents. 

I suppose the reason for all this background information is just because it’s all coming together now. As I’ve grown and matured and I see my 13 year old sister going through some of the exact things I went through I can see how my parent’s love and God’s love brought me to where I am and I’m just so thankful for that now. As I venture into my final year of college, I can reflect upon the lessons I’ve learned and apply them to my life now and to my future.  I can look back and I see how their discipline has now carried over into how I discipline myself in school. I see now how their love for each other through the tough times is the perfect example of how I should love Pete through the hard times. I see now how their sacrifices and tight budgets (even when I wanted those cute new flare blue jeans) shaped me into a clearance rack shopper so I can save up for my future. I can see now how it takes dedication and personal sacrifice to provide for those I love. I can see now how God placed me in this family for His purpose and His plan and I wouldn't be me without being in this family.

I know this was a lot for a second post, but my roots are what make me, ME.

I want to challenge you as you read to reflect and think about your family. 

The good and the bad, and really think about what your life would be like without them.

Take some time thanking God for those who surround you and love you.

I know parents are crazy, I know life is hard, I know things really do suck sometimes at home, but step back and examine the life you've been blessed to have.

I love all my adopted family as well, I don't know what I'd do without you all.

I feel like the end of this could go on forever, so I'll end here.

exploration.

So I’ve decided that I wanted to start seriously blogging. I’ve reached a point in my life where I feel like my questions, reflections, and life in general may be of some interest to those who dare to embark on this blogging journey with me. Perhaps you’re wondering what struck me to take this seriously, or to make/set aside time to blog about the crazy, senseless, or possibly thought provoking life of mine… well you see, I’ve often been told I have a way with words. For as long as I can remember since I’ve been able to form words with pen or pencil I’ve loved writing.  Whether I wrote a story about Jesus with child-like innocence at the age of 8, a paper over porpoises, a letter to my mom apologizing for a big argument we had, or a card to my sweet fiancé about how much I love and value him- I love writing. 
With that being said I am excited about documenting my life as I embark on this new journey in my life- that journey being my final year of college and preparing for marriage. This is the time in my life where I’m straddling the fence. I can look back on SO much of what God has brought me through to bring me to this very point in my life, and at the same time I can look forward to how He used those very instances to build a firm foundation for my future.