Expectations.

Have you ever felt like you just can't do anything right?
I don't mean this in an emo, "I suck at life" sort of way.
I mean does everything you do and everything you don't do seem to never ever measure up to the expectations of those around you? Even the "simple" expectations of those around you are seemingly impossible to carry through with all the time.


I have pondered about expectations before in regards to several different things.
I've thought about my parent's expectations for school and how I've consistently kept my C+  sometimes B+ average. I see myself falling short of my parent's expectations constantly and I compare myself to others around me who have such an easy time pleasing their parents with their A's and honors courses, or perhaps C+ is just fine with their parents. While I know that my grades don't mean everything to my parents it sure would be nice to make them proud with some big scholarship, honor society, or scholastic recognition.
I've thought about the expectations of marriage. Sometimes I see other engaged couples being so prepared and carefree about their futures with their betrothed while I feel as if I'm setting Pete up for failure by being so unprepared to be an adult let alone a wife! [However, I know really and truly this isn't at all how Pete feels towards me and our future together.]
I've thought about friendships and how I can never give enough time, enough attention, or do all the right things to make all of my friends around me happy and satisfied all of the time (and maintain my sanity as well).
I think about my own expectations in myself and all the ideas, thoughts, and plans I've made or come up with and how I never ever seem to follow through.
Even when I am doing nothing wrong whatsoever, it may be the fact that I am doing nothing at all that lets someone down.


PRAISE GOD THAT THERE'S STILL HOPE FOR ME...


Perhaps most often I think about the ways in which I fall short in glorifying God. This one however has hope and security. Romans 3:23 says "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." and Romans 8:39 says "neither height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
I'm thankful and I can honestly rest in the hope I have in Christ. He accepts me just as I am, flaws and all, and loves me fully despite any expectations I may or may not meet. 


“It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not.”  -Andre Gide

relaxation.

well things have finally started to slow down.
homecoming has come and gone and I can honestly say that although I'm sad it was my last go around, I am really glad it's all over. 
it was really nice to go out with a bang by winning the ropepull championship, not to mention taking tape at all three pulls! i'm sad that all my ADPi sisters' hard work wasn't recognized by placing high in all the events, but they sure did make me proud and they were definitely first place in my heart.

i was really glad to have genevieve come and stay with me for a week during her fall break.  
it was nice to spend some time together and have her there to support me during ropepull.
we definitely made some good memories this week and that was really good for my heart and soul.

now that all the late night practices and homecoming events are over it's nice to now that i will have more time to pour into new and old relationships. 
i will have time for the small stuff, whether that's writing a note, sending a sweet text, or making dinner plans. 
i wont have to cram all my relationship work into an hour time slot.
i will have time to get some good rest, that is until finals roll around.
i now have time to actually communicate with my fiance, family, and friends.
i have time to blog, hopefully more regularly. 
i might even be able to enjoy a nice bubble bath every now and then :)
i'm definitely thanking God for this relaxation that i have in this moment, because it's likely to be short-lived.
in my nearly 4 years of college i have learned what it means to be thankful for things such as relaxation and boy am i ever!!


until next time... thanks for reading my ramblings!


"Allow yourself time to be lazy and even unproductive.
Rest isn't luxury; it's a necessity."- Author Unknown